From Morgan over at House of Eratosthenes. I'm going to steal the whole thing, because I agree with every word of it. But do go over and read his blog.
I’m polite, pleasant and belligerent. Anti-Marijuana, pro-states’-rights, anti-abortion-for-profit, pro-child-discipline, anti-tofu, pro-meat, mostly-anti-tattoo, pro-nice-lookin’-lady-in-skimpy-clothes, anti-little-kids’-shopping-cart, pro-clean-new-socks, anti-women-with-short-hair, pro-beer, anti-Hillary, pro-dry-wine, anti-anti-war, pro-soldier, anti-made-up-learning-disability, pro-charcoal-barbeque, anti-communist, pro-Hooters’-waitress, anti-hippy, pro-nuclear-arsenal, anti-carbon-cap-n-trade, pro-family, anti-feminist, pro-Boy-Scouts, anti-needle-exchange-program, pro-Palin, anti-judicial-activisim, pro-Mike-Rowe-Dirty-Jobs, anti-George-Soros, pro-capitalism, anti-woman-politician-in-pant-suits, pro-nice-lookin’-ladies-in-short-skirts, anti-convertible-with-top-down-going-boom-chicka-boom, pro-cute-woman-giving-me-a-cold-beer, anti-Michael-Moore, pro-profit, anti-ObamaCare, pro-free-market, anti-tribal-living, pro-individualist, anti-dickhead, pro-entrepreneur, anti-douchebag, pro-nice-person, anti-sleezebag, pro-law-abiding-citizen, anti-pervert, pro-capital-punishment, anti-murderer, pro-vigilante, anti-rapist, pro-vigilante, anti-kidnapper, pro-vigilante, anti-creep, anti-weirdo, anti-whacko, pro-vigilante…
I like the smell of gunpowder. I like it when the caliber begins with the number 3. I like it even better when the number begins with a 4.
I like pretty ladies much better than ugly ladies, and I like fit ladies much better than tubs-o’-lard — BUT!! — if you’re a female, if your hips are 46″ wide, but you love humans and you love strength and ability, you and I will enjoy a bond those skinny man-bashing bitches will never ever know. If you’re pretty, I’ll like you even better when you bring me a cold beer. I like the pretty gals even better when they bring me a hot plate of appetizers with the beer…especially when it’s basted with something slightly tangy. And when they wear something short that shows lots of leg, I like that even better. Cold beer, hot wings, nice-lookin’ bare female leg…and gunpowder. And when I earn money beyond the sensibilities of magnitude of whoever might be paying attention…I get to keep it all…I’m like a puppy when you rub its belly. I’ll follow ya anywhere.
But don’t literally rub my belly, unless you’re my girlfriend.
When I see little kids figure out how to do something they didn’t know how to do five minutes ago, it absolutely makes my day. I don’t care if it’s my kid or someone else’s — well, I do, but the situation holds irregardless. When I see a crooked psychiatrist invent a new three-letter-acronym so a new weakness can be enabled across the decades, I get sick to my stomach and wanna kill somebody.
I think Indiana Jones, as unrealistic as he is, is a role model. Because he’s all about L-I-C-O-R-I-C-E: Leadership, Initiative, Creativity, Ownership of problems, Resourcefulness, Ingenuity, Courage & conviction and Energy. (Those Skywalker boys, as my son and I have noticed, are a little bit light on the O and the C.) T.I., as gritty and realistic as he may be, is not a role model because he’s a thug. He’s missing his licorice.
In short — I’m pro-freedom. Pro-ability. Anti-co-dependence. Pro-strength. Anti-drug-dealing-scumbag-fuckwad.
It really can’t get any simpler than that. Any questions?
This needs no embellishment.
